15 years old. Born 1/14/2008. Why do I always start with my age? Here, shake my hand. My name's Jake, and I'm a tangential laugh-lover who has a penchant for writing and making less-than-good jokes. Fifteen years and running. But you already knew that.
I have a zest for life, a passion for being passionate, and my business is in smiling (although I freelance in being verbose). Go ahead, take my card.
In brief summary, I'm a fan of superheroes, writing, animals, and comedy. But, then again, I've never been one to be brief.
I ramble a lot. Big talker. My life is 95% dreamland, fantasies, and pleasant delusions of grandeur. The other 5% is when I'm sleeping. I have an imagined country called Jaketopia and it exists in a living, breathing universe, somewhere beyond the stars (I'm sure). I'm good at entertaining myself. I value all the good things in life. Things I care about the most: earth, peace, etc. Things I look down on the most: lust, greed, etc.
Despite my seeming incompetence, my passion is writing, and I can do it well when me want to. Trust Jake.
If I was a superhero/vigilante, I would focus 100% of my attention on sex crimes. I would target prostitution, pornography, trafficking, child abuse, various other sexual abuse rings ... and I would try my best to take them all down. Those syndicates equal the world's real-life supervillains. The only time my attention wouldn't be on that type of crime/sickness would be when I've already handled those issues. But the work would never be done...
I'm Christian in faith and don't identify with a political party.
Raised/living in the Georgia suburbs. Dreams of living in the Yukon, Alaska, or somewhere in the Georgia wilderness.
Some would call me an oxy-moron.
I'm an optimist 99.999999% of the time. I love laughing, smiling, etc!
I've been described as a charismatic, handsome, and promising young man, with a knack for bringing happiness to everyone's table. Don't ask me who described me like that -- the answer is probably "me".
Here are a few of my favorite things... 🎵
| Graphic novel |
Watchmen by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons. Hey, cool last name. (Like a gibbon... get it?) (it's because my website is called Primate. You really are a nimrod, aren't you?) |
|---|---|
| Novel, otherwise |
Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes. An oedipal Jaketopia fever dream/nightmare. |
(However, overall, Watchmen trumps as my favorite book, and one of my favorite things in general.)
| Musical genres |
Give me southern rock, new wave, and all the other rock and roll you can think of. I also love me some adult standards, classical, and electronic music. Check out my Spotify. |
|---|---|
| Superheroes |
Nite Owl II (Daniel Dreiberg), Blue Beetle II (Ted Kord), Invincible (Mark Grayson), Batman (Bruce Wayne). But no one compares to my numero uno, the great BOOSTER GOLD. |
I really, really love Booster Gold.
| Musical artists |
Talking Heads, XTC, The Police, MF Doom, Fiona Apple, Sade, Creedence Clearwater Revival, etc. |
|---|---|
| Musical album |
Business as Usual by Men at Work. |
| Song |
"Who Can it Be Now?", which happens to be off of the aforementioned album. |
| Comic series |
Invincible. I do not enjoy the television adaptation. |
| Television show |
Teen Titans Go!, as I am a degenerate. I am also rather fond of Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law. |
| Animals |
I'm big on monkeys and general PRIMATES, but I also heavily favor tiny little dogs and cute kitties. |
Graphic novel: Watchmen by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons. Hey, cool last name. (Like a gibbon... get it?) (it's because my website is called Primate. You really are a nimrod, aren't you?)
Novel, otherwise: Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes. An oedipal Jaketopia fever dream/nightmare.
Musical genres: Give me southern rock, new wave, and all the other rock and roll you can think of. I also love me some adult standards, classical, and electronic music. Check out my Spotify.
(However, overall, Watchmen trumps as my favorite book, and one of my favorite things in general.)
Superheroes: Nite Owl II (Daniel Dreiberg), Blue Beetle II (Ted Kord), Invincible (Mark Grayson), Batman (Bruce Wayne). But no one compares to my numero uno, the great BOOSTER GOLD.
I really, really love Booster Gold.
Musical artists: Talking Heads, XTC, The Police, MF Doom, Fiona Apple, Sade, Creedence Clearwater Revival, etc.
Musical album: Business as Usual by Men at Work.
Song: "Who Can it Be Now?", which happens to be off of the aforementioned album.
Comic series: Invincible. I do not enjoy the television adaptation.
Television show: Teen Titans Go!, as I am a degenerate.
I am also rather fond of Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law.
Animals: I'm big on monkeys and general PRIMATES, but I also heavily favor tiny little dogs and cute kitties.
I used to love web design and HTML. Now I don't code as much. I still enjoy it, but prefer having the most simple concept possible. This page only uses 4 lines of CSS.
Primate came about in October 2021 (8th grade), as a bored whim in one of the many classes I tended to goof off in at the time. It housed a variety of content, from reviews to a warehouse of mediocre, dare I say terrible, original fiction from your very own ME. Nowadays, Primate serves as more of a mediocre (I would never dare say terrible) blog, which entertains no one but myself. Primate is the defintion of a personal site: uninteresting, unassuming, and obnoxious. But, boy, do I love it.
You can share my site by copy-and-pasting the code below onto your own homepage. It's to share my 88x31 button, which I will also display under this text.
The links page shares ways to contact me, as well as many other curious (you'll never guess this) links.